We’re all about animals these days. And poop. And if you can combine the two… well, that’s more fun than a barrel of shit-covered monkeys. A veritable Wild & Scatalogical Kingdom are we, Chez Goldie.

Baby Bear is simultaneously fascinated with the diversity of the animal kingdom and the complexities of potty training. In the spirit of interdisciplinary learning, we frequently combine number one and number two. Which yields such conversational bon mots as “Cows [are] too big [to] use [the] potty” and “Hippos poop ZOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

So with the crisp scent of fall in the air, off we went to a delightful little faux farm stocked with all sorts of crap, not to mention the livestock who generate it. We saw sheep poop, goat poop, cow poop, horse poop and (oh sweet Jesus) pig poop. All I can say about pig poop is, if bacon smelled like that, I’d be ten pounds lighter.

And get a load of this — all this shit was free! Frying Pan Farm has no admission charge, no parking fee, no $5 handfuls of Goat Toasties available for feeding. Just a bunch of happy kids, placid (or at least wearily resigned) animals and some mini tractors available for imaginary joyrides. Plus clean bathrooms (for human poop) and picnic tables (for when your appetite returns). Definitely a morning well spent.